Seriously, you can’t talk to anyone anymore. I feel like I’m living in a really bad sci-fi movie starring Heather Graham and Matt LeBlanc about voice animated robots taking over the world. Why is everything voice animated?! I can’t stand it. Pretty soon 9-1-1 is going to sound like this:
Hello, you’ve reached the 911 automated fire emergency directory. Please choose from the following options. If you need an option repeated, press star. Press 911 at anytime to return to the regular menu.
-If you are currently burning alive and need medical attention, press 1.
-If you think there’s a chance your house can still be saved from the scorching flames, press 2.
-If you started this fire from a lit cigarette you tossed on the carpet, hit your head against a cement wall 5-6 times, and press 3.
-If the fire is out of control and you think your local television news could catch some great footage, press 4.
-If you could run into your house right now and save three things, what would they be? Write a 2-3 page essay and send it to 911 for a writing competition. For more information, press 6.
If you are not satisfied with these options, call your local fire department so they can assist you. Have a great day and thank you for calling 911.
Pretty soon we’re all going to have automated voice messages on our cell phones. Mine will go something like this.
Hi, you’ve reached Kaz’s automated answering directory. Please choose from the following options:
-To pay Kaz a compliment, press 1.
-To invite Kaz out for drinks, your treat, press 2.
-To invite Kaz to a movie or out to eat, your treat, press 3.
-To remind Kaz of what an incredibly amazing person she is and how much she’s impacted your life, press 4.
-If this is Dane Cook, asking me out on a date, press 5.
Something like that…anyway, write your own voice automated directory message sometime. You may laugh at me now, but it’s coming.