If you suffer from the following ten symptoms, chances are you are (or should be) a creative writer:
- You have writer’s hair (snarly, unkempt, disheveled, frequently unwashed, and usually tucked inside a hat or stocking cap to avoid scrutiny).
- Taking a shower is less for personal hygiene, and more a necessity for non-interrupted plot devising.
- You don’t walk or run for exercise–that would be ridiculous. You walk or run because the release of endorphins helps clear your head and allows you to iron out problems in your storyline.
- You tend to forget to eat, but when you start to feel lighted headed you binge on cereal and bananas. Sometimes you mix up your diet with frozen meals and pasta. Your creative juices are replenished with coffee and beer.
- You find yourself shopping for more and more pajama sets (elastic waist bands essential), because this has become your work uniform.
- You grow aloof and antisocial, not because you’re introverted, but because you begin to prefer hanging out with your fictional characters over real life people.
- You talk to yourself. You try to limit this self dialogue to your home, but sometimes you slip and do it in public, leaving you to wonder if you are mildly schizophrenic.
- You start to choose your friends based on their level of weirdness. You can’t hang out with people who are too nice or normal–this does not inspire good writing material.
- You are confident that your boyfriend/spouse/partner sees your growing number of nuances as “endearing” or “quirky.”
- You sometimes are so deep in your head that when you snap back to reality you forget where you are. This is very dangerous while driving.
Well, those are my top ten. Did I leave any out?